UPCAT go away
Can't believe the entrance exam for UP is on next Saturday, and I haven't done any reviewing at all. I actually brought my reviewer yesterday to cram while I have the chance, but totally forgot about it as my IP groupmates and I went around Colon and then to Ayala, just looking for fun. The reviewer did have its purpose though, as it made me look smart (at least I hope it did) to make up for my lack of decent attire (loose shirt, shorts and slippers, plus a huge bandage on my foot - imagine that). Haha.
Anyway, I feel like I have to mention this. The disco last Friday was a huge letdown. The assholes cut us short, ending 2 hours early. And the music sucked. At least I still had fun though because of the COKE. Haha. Got
teep-sey and all.
And yeah. Intrams was a blast. Some freshies threw hot water (straight from the dispenser) at us, and I got hit with a hard-boiled egg. That and a lot more raw eggs and dirty water from the bathroom.
buanga uy.
WTF Fralu! Hahaha.
franz_lucero: welcum
frances rebollido: ngeee france!
frances rebollido: luora
frances rebollido: haha
franz_lucero: hehehe
frances rebollido: kbaw ka unsay cum?
franz_lucero: wla
franz_lucero: unsa man diay na?
franz_lucero: hehe
frances rebollido: cum? i search sa google define cum
franz_lucero: eeew
franz_lucero: kita ka sa pic sa wikipecia rebs?
franz_lucero: luod kau..!!
franz_lucero: hehe
frances rebollido: gai daw ko sa link sa wikipedia
franz_lucero: hehehe
franz_lucero: akong giclose kay luod kau
franz_lucero: hehehe
frances rebollido: haha
franz_lucero: i search ug suway ang cum shot
franz_lucero: ay ayaw nlng ui
frances rebollido: eww
frances rebollido: haha!!!
frances rebollido: francine uy!
franz_lucero: kay macorrupt imung mind
franz_lucero: hehe
Thank God
I guess
I was wrong.
Anyway, DAVID ARCHULETA SHOULD HAVE WON! What is wrong with you people? We don't need another wannabe rocker who's probably gonna burn out in a couple of years. Gosh. (pun intended)
It's over
I didn't make the cut. My chances of becoming a CO has been reduced to zero. Nada. Zilch. I guess the reason why it hurts so much was how badly I wanted it, and how it all ended too soon. All those months of training were worth it, though. I learned so much more in those few months than I have in the past years. I only have two regrets. I did what I could, it's just that I didn't know what their standards exactly were so I didn't know what part of me I should've changed, and that was the one chance I didn't get. And that I wasn't able to spend enough time with my comrades to get to know them more. Now I really miss them. That makes me even more depressed. :(
Good thing I have Scrubs and David Archuleta to make me happy.
Ah, well. Life goes on.
Must Have Software
This is more of a note to self, just in case my computer bogs down again, as it usually does every summer. It's been acting up lately, restarting by itself, sluggish performance, etc. So here's a list of what I already have and should still have after formatting my HDD.
- NOD32 Antivirus
- Spyware Terminator
- Adobe Reader 8
- Adobe Photoshop CS2
- Mozilla Firefox 2.0
- Y! Messenger
- Limewire PRO 4.17.5
- uTorrent
- Peer Guardian 2
- RocketDock launch bar
- Microsoft Office 2003
- Lavalys EVEREST Home Edition
- Rosetta Stone V3 (yes, currently learning German)
- AoA Audio Extractor
- Buddy Spy
- DivX set
- Download Accelerator Plus
- K-Lite Codec Pack
- Microsoft Visual Studio 6.0
- Nero 7 Premium
- PhotoWipe
- Quicktime
- upgrade video card driver
- Audacity
- NanDub/Virtual Dub
- G Chord Generator
- Daemon Tools
Thirty-nine secrets
After seeing about 5 people do this survey, it's about time I join in the bandwagon!
*sniff crack*
(crack = sugar)
There's nothing so secret about these questions. meh.
ONE Who was your last 3 texts from saved on your cellphone?
from Claire and Chardi.
TWO Where was your default picture taken?
the spot between our kitchen and the living room.
THREE What's your middle name?
Monte de Ramos (but written as Montederamos in my birth cert. meh.)
FOUR Your current relationship status?
Single and happy. But in my dream last night, I wasn't (single), yet I was happy. Hmmm...
FIVE Does your crush like you back?
There's about a 0.032% chance that he does. That much I'm holding on to. But not too much. :)
SIX What is your current mood?
Crazy! Sugar-high crazy! and I'll prove it:
SEVEN What color of shirt are you wearing?
White + gray.
EIGHT What's the color of ur nail polish?
Orange! But that was 5 years ago. I'm not wearing it now, but it's still
my nail polish. so yeah, orange.
NINE If you could go back in time and change something, what would you
change?
Nothing, else I wouldn't be who I am now, which I'm contented with.
TEN Where was the last place out of town that you went to?
The last time i remember was christmas - we went to davao del sur and davao oriental.
ELEVEN Ever had a near death experience?
Hell yes. Every second I'm at a risk of dying. There was once this guy who died while typing a sentence much similar to this. May God bless his soul.
And mine.
TWELVE Things you do a lot
It's a miracle! I'm still alive! w00tw00t
moving on...
Things I do a lot:
Lately my days have had exactly the same routine - wake up, eat, turn on the computer, use the computer, eat, use the computer again, eat, use the computer some more, finally turn off the computer and then sleep.
THIRTEEN Do you have a fondness for gnomes?
Eeeek! Gnomes are a nightmare!!
FOURTEEN Who can you tell anything to?
Friends. Family - not really.
FIFTEEN Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Ricky Ullman. Cute guy from Phil of the Future.
SIXTEEN When was the last time you cried?
Weeks, maybe months, ago.
SEVENTEEN Are you for or against capital punishment?
For it. It's better than letting the criminal rot in jail.
EIGHTEEN If you could have (one) super power(s) what would it be?
To be able to stay awake 24/7 and not have to sleep. There's still so much exploring to do, and one lifetime (half of it spent sleeping) is not enough.
NINETEEN What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Shoulders. Muscles.
TWENTY Who is your favorite celebrity?
Shia LaBeouf.
TWENTY-
ONE What is a theory that you believe?
Chaos theory.
TWENTY-TWO Favorite color?
blueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblue TWENTY-THREE What is one thing that annoys you on TV?
Those noontime novelty shows! My
lolo watches them everyday. And the PC's right beside the TV. imagine that.
TWENTY-FOUR Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Yes, but only the old ones I used to watch as a kid. The new ones blow. Meaningless and shitty.
TWENTY-FIVE Are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Lipton milk tea and Combi crackers.
TWENTY-SIX Do you speak any other language?
Yes. Plan on learning hebrew and german this summer. they're the shiznit.
TWENTY-SEVEN What's your favorite food?
Lumpia (definitely not the veggy kind) and durian.
TWENTY-EIGHT Describe your life in one word?
Interesting.
TWENTY-NINE Have any tattoos?
No. I have a birthmark though and it's waaay cooler than a tattoo. Nothing beats authenticity.
THIRTY What are you looking forward to the most?
College.
THIRTY-ONE What are you thinking about right now?
Since I mentioned college, I still can't decide which course to take. It's either Psychology or Computer Science.
THIRTY-TWO What should you be doing?
I don't know. If I knew what it was I would be doing it instead of this. Most likely.
THIRTY-THREE Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Si ____ na nanglibak ni _____.
THIRTY-FOUR What are you listening to:
Jack Johnson. It's a band. They're the shiznit.
THIRTY-FIVE Do you like working in the yard?
We don't have a yard. I'm surrounded by cement.
THIRTY-SIX If you could have any last name in the world, what would it be?
What I currently have.
THIRTY-SEVEN Do you act differently around the person you like?
Not really. But then again I have never been around him long enough to determine how I was acting.
THIRTY-EIGHT Are you happy now?
Not really.
THIRTY-NINE Why did you cry last time?
I can't remember.
Jason Friedberg's wikipedia PWNage
Quotes from
Friedberg's wikipedia info page, mostly taken from the
History logs.
One of his greatest achievements is begin one of the many people responsible for the current downfall of comedic films. As a result of his films, comedy films do not get the respect that they should have. Josh Rowpand once was quoted saying "Many people would rather be torn into pieces by a wild pack of mutated timber wolfs then go see one of his films. This man should not be allowed to touch a camera."
He frequently works with his homosexual partner Aaron Seltzer.
Many consider him to be a hack, and one of the worst film makers of all time.
Jason Friedberg is a horrible American film writer, who was one of the writers of the original Scary Movie. He frequently works with the equally untalented Aaron Seltzer. He co-wrote the atrocities that were Spy Hard, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans, which he also directed, adding to their further failures as films.
Jason Friedberg is known as one of the unfunny parody writers, Friedberg along with his homosexual partner Aaron Seltzer have written such pieces of crap like Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. While not writing poor humored parody scripts, Friedberg and Seltzer often participate in gay orgies
Friedberg and Seltzer Have Also Has Been Known to Have 'Fun' with the other 4 writers of scary movie.
Jason Friedberg stated that he has never had a heterosexual relationship
Jason Friedberg is a thief who steals moviegoer's money, who was one of the writers of the original Scary Movie.
Jason Friedberg is a mentally challenged American film writer...
Jason Friedberg is a mentally handicapped American film writer...
Jason Friedberg is an American film writer who should never be allowed to make movies and needs to find a different profession.
Jason Friedberg is an American film writer and director as well as a no-talent hack and butt sniffer.
He is a talentless hack. He is a cinema vandal. He was rated in an online poll as the worst thing to ever happen to movies. Memo to the people responsible for these horrible films: You don't have the right to make fun of other people's movies when your own movies stink!
He has also been considered by some to be a douche.
Additionally, he is related to TNA wrestler Robert Roode, which explains why he is also very mean to Ms. Brooks. That's not the only place hes gonna kickum.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
KICKUM.
Aaron Seltzer's wikipedia PWNage
Quotes from
Seltzer's wikipedia info page, mostly taken from the
History logs.
He is best known for his ____ Movie film series with homosexual partner Jason Friedberg.
He has frequently been criticized along with Friedberg for poor writing. Their films, which almost always open in January, are often deemed "unfunny" and "vulgar" and consist almost entirely of obvious references to recent films and pop culture events.
Many members of website IMDB have suggested petitions to stop the homosexual pair from making movies.
99% of the world wishes he would die, the other 1% being 13 year olds who soil their pants every time a new "____ Movie" comes out.
He's widely regarded as a disgrace to the film industry.
Aaron Seltzer is douchebag film director and screenwriter. He is best known for his horrible ____ Movie film series including writing the first Scary Movie film, as well as being a director of travesties such as Epic Movie, Date Movie and Meet the Spartans.
One boy left the theatre of his latest 'comedy' with bleeding eyes, screaming for his mother. Once calmed the child said 'I have seen the devil, but he wasn't in the form of a man...but a disgraceful movie that denegrates all mankind!' (the child was quite mature in his english skills)
I hope someone hits Aaron Seltzer in the face with a giant black dildo.
...as well as being a director of Epic Movie, Date Movie, Meet the Spartans and the upcoming Rape Movie.
Aaron Seltzer is a mentally challenged...
Aaron Seltzer is an idiotic, excruciatingly unfunny, American film director and screenwriter. He is best (if the adjective "best" can be associated with him) known for his ____ Movie film series including writing (in essence, referring to other, better films and deluding himself into thinking that constitutes comedy) for the first...Aaron Seltzer is a mentally disabled American...
What is friggin' up with India?!
There's something crazy and sinister cooking up in India, I tell you. What with all those weird kids springing up almost every week. One would think about what kind of drugs the parents are taking. Take-these-and-bear-a-child-who's-a-reincarnation-of-a-god-or-godess OTCs, maybe? Nah.
I just read from the news about a
15-year-old girl who's 23-inches tall. But hold those thoughts of pity there, because this girl does not deserve them. See
why:
"I am proud of being small. I love the attention I get," she told the Sunday Mirror.
"I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different."
Like any other teenager, she loves listening to pop music and watching DVDs and even hopes to become a Bollywood actress. She has recently recorded an album with her favourite Indian pop star, Mika Singh.
Geez. Sounds more like an attention-seeking blonde bitch. Good luck with Bollywood, midget.
AWW... CUTE.
UHH, NOT SO CUTE.
no wait, NOT cute. at all.
~
Here's a situation that's so fucked up, I just want to fly to India this instant and punch the parents in the face. I'm sure you've heard of
the baby with two faces? This w
as on the news just a few days ago:
The parents of a baby girl born with two faces say that they have no plans to seek treatment or surgery for their daughter. The girl, who has yet to be named, was born in a north Indian village and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of the Hindu god, Lord Ganesha.
"The doctor said everything is normal when she was born. So where's the need to get medical help?" said the child's father, Vinod Kumar, 24.
"She's fed through one mouth and sucks her thumb with the other. We use whichever mouth is free to feed her," Mr Kumar said, adding she is eating and breathing normally.
The three-week-old baby from Saini village in Uttar Pradesh state, 30 miles north-east of the capital New Delhi, is being hailed as a "miracle" child.
Hundreds of locals are flocking to seek her "blessing" and, in keeping with Indian traditional, showering her parents with money.
"At first I was a little afraid," said Mr Kumar of his first child. "But then I accepted whatever God gives."
To the largely illiterate villagers from the agricultural community the little girl is a reincarnation of Lord Ganesh, the half person and half elephant, and one of the most worshipped deities in the Hindu pantheon.
He is a highly benevolent god revered as the remover of obstacles and creating new beginnings.
"It's a gift from God. Some people say she is like a goddess," schoolmaster Harsharan Singh gushed.
Little, however, is known of the baby's physical condition as her parents are not permitting doctors to examine her.
"They are not aware enough that they should come in for treatment," Dr M Ashmosd, who delivered the baby at the local government hospital, said.
"I have told them that we are ready to do the CT scan on her for free. But they have ignored me."
Another local doctor, Bridal Nagar, said she was not an "abnormal baby" but just one with two faces living a normal life, but who might face problems later on.
"And if she dies it's as God wishes," he added.
Born with four arms and four legs but a single head, Lakshmi Tatma was named after the four-armed Hindu goddess of wealth and is growing up normally.
Well if you're someone who's got enough decency, then I'm sure you won't mind me giving those idiots a little somethin' to snap them out of their world of oooh-my-daughter's-a-goddess-reincarnate-I've-become-so-popular-and-important-for-once-and-I'd-like-to-keep-it-that-way. And what about that moron Dr. Bridal Nagar? Oh fuck you, man. Would you still be as indifferent if I were to drop a rock on your head, and that if you die, it's as God wish
es anyway? I think not. By the way, even a pea can do the work because your head's so miniscule, that a pea so light and small could kill you.
I really feel sorry for the kid. I just wish another set of kind and loving parents would adopt her and give her surgery.
~
The last one will be
the girl with eight limbs. At least her parents are smart enough to give her surgery, although I still think their belief of their child being a reincarnate of Vishnu is pretty naive.
MAY GOD BLESS SELFLESS PARENTS LIKE YOU.I'm sure this isn't the end of the series of mutant Indian babies. Who knows? Maybe next time we'll see a baby boy with 10 testicles, a baby with a fish head, or a half-mermaid.
I Am Legend alternate ending
For those of you who want to see the movie's alternate ending but don't want to download the entire length of the film (about 700mb-1gb), here's the torrent for the last 7 minutes which is actually the only part that differs from the original.
http://thepiratebay.org/tor/4058920/I_Am_Legend-Alternate_Ending_Only
30 dumbest videogame titles ever
Allow me to become a copy-pasting cliché as I wait for my torrent* to finish downloading. I came across
this article on slashdot and thought I'd put it here because I found myself laughing my ass off: (
I just had to include the descriptions because they were too good to leave out!)
Tongue of the Fatman
Premise: As an alien of your choice, fight your way through bad guys and ultimately face the Fatman -- a hard-ass who needs a healthy portion of defeat. The tongues of fat men are indeed compelling. Why a series of games never spun off is beyond us -- Legs of the Fatman, Ear Canal of the Fatman and Failing Vital Organ of the Fatman all would have been huge winners.
Spanky's Quest
Premise: Spanky is a monkey with balls. Throwing these balls is his way of attacking enemies, and at the end of each level there's a boss. All very traditional, all very entertaining. But come on! Spanky the monkey? Japanese developer Natsume -- most famous now for its Harvest Moon titles -- was either disastrously fond of Western euphemisms, or simply terrible at picking innocent game names. Would you pick Spanky the monkey off the shelf for your kids?
Touch Dic
Premise: More a tool than a game, Touch Dic is a dictionary and translation title for the Nintendo DS, using the console's touch-happy stylus.
We want to say this is a game-naming FAIL, but we just can't. It's from Korea and is now on the shelves as Touch Dictionary. But we'll never forget the day our pals at GameSpot first told us there was a game called Touch Dic... happy, happy times.
If It Moves, Shoot It!
Premise: A top-down shooter, in which killing creatures from the depths of the cosmos is far more appealing than asking them to explain the mysteries of pi. The title might be sound advice, but a more satisfying game of the same name would involve playing the role of a commando who watches over the sleeping body of Pete Doherty.
Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals
Premise: In this third-person adult-themed adventure, horny dork Larry tries and fails to seduce women on an island resort, after his girlfriend leaves him for a cannibalistic lesbian slot-machine repairwoman.
The tongue-twistingly long title for this game does nothing but make us look back on 1989 with fond memories, and worry that we want the pixellated lady to remove her... is that a sweater? No, she might just be badly burned. Best leave her to her own devices, actually.
Barbie Horse Adventure
Premise: Barbie rides a horse, while looking for a flock of other horses that managed to get themselves lost. Of all the things we've envisioned doing with Barbie, having her ride a horse comes right below having her visit a dentist or paint a fence. A far more enjoyable blend of large-chested plastic women and the equestrian lifestyle would be akin to Dead or Alive, only instead of Kasumi and Ryu, it's Barbie and a ruddy great shirehorse.
Attack of the Mutant Camels
Premise: A bunch of enormous yellow camels are making their way to your base. Since you're fond of your base, you must massacre them from a plane.
Camels are hilarious. Slaying hundreds of them as they shoot fireballs from their mouths borders on the insane, which is why this game was so riveting. Why this hasn't been made for our current generation of consoles is beyond us. Stick Barbie on the back of a mutant camel and you've got yourself a AAA title.
Extreme Sports with the Berenstain Bears
Premise: Kayaking, dirt biking and tobogganing are just three of the half-dozen sports you can force on a bunch of innocent bears for your sick pleasures.
This game was not well-received, and fortunately no-one has attempted to meld extreme sports with woodland mammals since. Dancing on Hot Coal with the Berenstain BearsDecapitating Wandering Campers with the Berenstain Bears. If no one makes these soon, we're starting our own development company. might've had greater success, or perhaps
Ninja Hamster
Premise: A hamster -- radioactive, of course -- with martial arts skills, takes on various opponents in this rodent beat 'em up.
Seriously, of all the animals in the world you could assign ninja skills to, they choose the one with the stumpiest little arms and legs. If you're making a ninja animal game, pick something that stands a chance of being a decent ninja. A giraffe, maybe; get some ninja neck action going on.
Frogger: Helmet Chaos
Premise: You play a frog. Stop a bloke destroying your home by jumping around various landscapes. There's some chaos to be had, but disappointingly not in the anatomical region the title so coyly alludes to.
We have to admit, Helmet Chaos didn't fill us with excitement over and above the normal thrill we'd feel about playing the role of a restless amphibian. Maybe we need more overt genitalia gags.
Ninja Baseball Bat Man
Premise: In this scrolling beat 'em up, it's up to you to annihilate enemies by using ninja skills and baseball bats. Marvellous.
Now this is what we're talking about! Ninjas, baseball bats, ninjas with baseball bats and lots of people who need injuring. It's exactly like Barbie Horse Adventure, only instead of Barbie, it's ninjas, and instead of a horse, it's a baseball bat.
Atari Ninja Golf
Premise: As if ninjas with baseball bats wasn't enough, this ninja has a sword and a collection of golf clubs. He plays a bit of golf and between holes he hurts other ninjas and various animals. Splendid fun.
Of all the ninja sporting games on the market, Ninja Golf has to be the most rad. But again, this could've been a really successful franchise: Ninja Beach Volleyball, Female Ninja Ice Hockey, Ninja Tiddlywinks... endless possibilities.
Billy the Wizard: Rocket Broomstick Racing
Premise: It's exactly as it sounds: you're a wizard that races on a fast broomstick. Extraordinary. Where did they get that idea?
We prefer more ninja action in our games. If Billy was a ninja, we'd probably pay more attention.
NRA Gun Club
Premise: In this National Rifle Association-endorsed shooting game, you shoot targets, not people, at various courses and indoor events.
It's to be expected that a prominent gun club doesn't want to condone the shooting of innocent passers-by. In the competitive world of gaming, where removing heads with axes and running over prostitutes is rather vanilla, a gun game with no mindless violence could be considered refreshing. But of course it's simply mind-numbingly dull.
GOLF Magazine Presents 36 Great Holes Starring Fred Couples
Premise: Golf simulator with decent physics and terrains, for its time. And sniggering.
We're not going to rip on this game for anything more than its unnaturally long title and hilarious innuendo. It had some decent courses, passable graphics and considering it was 1994, fairly good ball physics. Ball physics! It must be catching.
Bus Driver
Premise: You drive a 3D bus around a 3D world. Think Microsoft Flight Simulator, only with buses. Yes, that's it.
If you ever wondered what it was like to drive a bus, Bus Driver is for you. The developer -- take a bow, SCS Software -- really could've gone a little further with the title. Extreme Double-Decker maybe? You can't run prostitutes over or engage in any road rage -- you can't even smoke a rollup or encourage the schoolkids to fight. Certainly a missed opportunity.
Ship Simulator 2008
Premise: Much like Bus Driver, only instead of a bus, it's a ship. A range of excruciatingly dull ships in fact, from tug boats right up to the HMS Titanic. Pick your favourite iceberg and evacuate the women and children for a cheery night in.
As if driving a bus wasn't exciting enough, Ship Simulator also exists. It's hardly got the same pull as Ultimate Psycho's Ultimate Chainsaw Meets The Local Church Choir, has it?
Big Mutha Truckers 2: Truck Me Harder
Premise: Trucks and trucking. That's it really. You need to raise cash to get your Ma out of trouble with the law, and to do that you need to go wheelin' and dealin'. In trucks. It's got a catchy name, full of innuendo and intrigue. Apart from the intrigue bit. The most amazing thing about it was that Big Mutha Truckers was successful enough to warrant a second innings -- but not a third outing, the mooted I Like Trucking and I Like to Truck.
Astro Fang: Super Machine
Premise: Drive fast cars along a highway, on a planet far, far away... We're all for racing games, and we're all about space. But Astro Fang: Super Machine sounds like it should be about a gigantic dog with huge teeth, floating around deep space in a machine, decapitating extra-terrestrials. Now that would be a killer title.
Tech Romancer
Premise: Tripped-out robots beat each other up in this sort-of-anime, sort-of-beat 'em up game.
Don't let the name fool you -- there are no hot robot-on-robot love scenes. Quite the opposite, actually. It's primarily a 3D fighter title with quaint story lines, but it scores points for suggesting that it's possible to seduce a machine.
Chemist Tycoon
Premise: The job of the chemist is no longer confined to those with basic medical training and an ability to sell contraceptives with a straight face. In this instalment of the Tycoon
franchise, you get to run a chemist's store. W00t! It's hardly the most appealing Tycoon title in videogames history, and not one we'd rush out to buy. But if you want to spend your free time pretending to purvey branded pharmaceuticals, you go right ahead.
Yes Prime Minister
Premise: Tie-in game from the popular BBC political comedy of the same name. You play as Prime Minister of the UK for a week.
Not exactly a gaming landmark, the Yes Prime Minister game may be the actual low point of licensed games, a particularly sludgy barrel to be scraping. It's a simple decision-making game that mirrors UK politics, but somehow lacks the pizazz of Ninja Baseball Bat Man.
How To Be A Complete Bastard
Premise: Invade a party for rich folks and demonstrate your boyish skills of being a complete and utter git, by for example loosening the screws on the handles of the disabled toilet.
This wonderfully tasteless game was always for the Bart Simpsons of the world. Nothing similar has ever really been made since this game was released -- if it were, the combined uproar from Fox News and the Daily Mail would wipe out life on Earth. A classic retro game to check out if you ever get chance.
Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together
Premise: Does it matter? It's called Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together. It was a tactical RPG with your typical Japanese storyline.
At absolutely no point in this game could you hug ogres, so its title is nothing but false advertising and misleading marketing. But Tactics Ogre was a popular series, with Let Us Cling Together the seventh instalment, despite the dearth of beastly bow-chicka-wow-wow.
Rex Nebular and the Cosmic Gender Bender
Premise: Oh noes! A priceless vase is lost on a distant planet where men have been eliminated and women have invented the eponymous machine to let them mate. It's your job to bravely retrieve the trinket in this third-person action game. Whoever came up with the plot for this game was clearly smoking something expensive, but it's undeniably creative. How many games have you seen in recent years with such an utterly ridiculous premise? Very few, we'd wager. Very few.
Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom
Premise: As one Sir Cucumber, you must win the hand of Princess Tomato -- daughter of King Broccoli -- by retrieving the stolen royal Turnip Emblem, in this first-person puzzle-solving adventure game.
This is the kind of manure our parents lettuce vegetate with in the 80s -- rotten concepts with leaf-thin plots and stupid carrotters. If this title sprouted these days, it'd be roasted within two seconds of leeking online.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Premise: A horror shooter, in which you battle through over 50 levels of zombies, destroying them with an imaginative variety of weapons. Think Resident Evil meets Half Life 2.
This has to be one of the greats. Dozens of levels, all essentially the same, big bosses at the ends of stages, gallons of shooting and piles of mutants. The tongue-in-cheek title may have killed its chances of success, but it reflected the innocence with which the game approached mindless violence. Published by Konami, this genuine cult classic was the precursor of the amazing Silent Hill games.
Ninjabread Man
Premise: It's a ninja again, but this time it's a gingerbread man who needs to save the world from evil pastries. Oh goody.
This game was hated by everyone who reviewed it, yet it still managed to get a release on the Wii two years after first being launched. It was made by the same people who made Billy The Wizard, the kid who flew speedy broomsticks. Time for a good game, chaps.
Keith Courage in Alpha Zones
Premise: In this side-scrolling action title, you play Keith Courage as he battles the aliens of BAD (Bad Alien Dudes). It doesn't get more retro than this.
You wouldn't want to meet a Bad Alien Dude out on the street. He'd make a mess of you, unless your surname is Courage, Extreme or Nukem. Unfortunately your character was clearly the dorky younger brother of the heroic Brad Courage, which put you -- and the game -- at a fatal disadvantage.
70's Robot Anime Geppy-X: The Super Boosted Armor
Premise: No idea. It's all in Japanese and we didn't get it in the UK. It's a bit like watching anime and has male and female characters.
That'll do. That name is reason enough. -Nate Lanxon
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*70 super nintendo classic games + emulator @ 82.1 mb. You want? ;)
